Continuing My Hero Worship...

Can you imagine how much poon this guy gets?

If It Wasn't For Bad Luck...

Disclaimer: I am in an extremely bad mood. This post will chronicle the million of things that went wrong regarding my move to Texas.

Ok. Where to begin...
My stuff, already in storage, was scheduled to be picked up by the movers on July 27. On July 29th, having never heard from them, I called and got the bogus excuse that we had always planned for the movers to show on July 29th. So, noticing that today was the 29th, I asked when where they going to show. I was then told that there was no drivers available and that I would have to wait till the 30th. So the 30th comes around and guess what... the movers never showed! I canceled my move and rented a Uhaul truck, packed all my things, attached my car to the trailer, and began to drive down to Texas. Stay away from Trans Global Van Lines.
So now about the Uhaul. Somewhere in Virginia I noticed the AC wasn't working. Great. But, dedicated as ever, I kept on going. I just wanted to get to Texas and forget everything.
Two days later, I arrive in Texas, only to find the apartment that I was promised was given to someone else in a weird mix up. So they placed my on a first floor room pretty close t the pool. Not bad, but not what I was expecting.
While moving stuff out of the Uhaul, both my flip flops broke. They were 3 weeks old. And as I write this, I am fuming because my TV just broke. Serenity now.

Overall, the move is a complete disaster. Almost everything that could have gone wrong, did. Here ends my rant, but my luck will probably continue...

Big News Coming Soon

Loving You is Easy Beacause You're Beautiful

This year's Ugliest Gog honor goes to a NJ dog (I think it is a dog). Behold Elwood, a 2-year-old Chinese Crested and Chihuahua mix:

Constant Reminder

While moving some stuff to my car to take to storage, I found a local Marylander waiting outside my door.



I wish I had a camera to take a picture of my face. Just imagine eating a lemon while being whacked in the shin. Something like that.
and for some perspective, here is my slimy little friend with some bling I lent him.



Texas can't come soon enough...

Ticket News, Part 2

I took my speeding ticket to the State Attorney's office and they cut me a deal. I would not have to pay the fine and I would do 8 hours of community service. Now I start getting nervous. What will they have me do? Read to old people? Clean old people? Pretend to be some old person's grandchild and go visit them while making up stories on how I just got into Harvard and I would not have made it if it weren't for all the inspiration that they gave me growing up?
So imagine my relief when I was told I would be helping around during Earth Day. Now, I hate hippies. I think they are lazy and smelly. And, I'm not a real "green" person, but I do care and enjoy the planet. Plus, I get to be outside on a spring day. How bad can it be?
If you are in S. MD during Earth Day, come by and visit! I'll be the one wearing the Exxon-Mobile I Heart George W. Bush shirt.

You Know How I Know You're Gay?

I wonder if it is a bad thing when the employees at Bath and Body Works start to recognize me...

Heavy Petting

I wish I had a Dingo. They seem like so much fun, barking with their Australian accents. If I had a Dingo, I would name him Mandingo and call him Manny for short. Or maybe it's not a good idea to buy one. How am I supposed to find babies to feed it?

Where the deer and the Trickery Roam?

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Best sentence ever! But also grammatically valid. Don't believe me?

I Really Am Not a Racist, But...

... You have to laugh when there is an African American person in front of you in line at a gas station buying a 2 liter Grape Soda and a Philly Blunt.

One More Reason I will Never Be in Public Office...

While talking to my sister-in-law this weekend, a brilliant idea popped into my head: What if the INS website had a section where you could hire legal house nannies and cleaners?
Racist? Maybe a little. But not a bad idea...