Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The "Wild" Animal Kingdom

Charley, Left-Arrow, Diagonal-Line and Six-Point. The cutting edge in animal rights. Those are the names of 4 penguins in a Berlin zoo that are gay. No gay as in: "Dude, that Star Wars Episode I movie was gay," but gay as in: "George Lucas had gay sex with his fan's asses when he made Star Wars Episode I."
These radical penguins have decided to pair off instead of mating with female penguins, causing a problem in the zoo since these are endangered species. In an effort to procreate, the zoo has brought in female penguins from Sweden (apparently these are blonde, sexy, slutty female penguins) to entice these noble creatures.
Now, up to this point, I have not made any of this up. What follows is so unbelievable, that I put this link to the story (while it lasts) because sometimes you have to read it to believe it.
Here we go.
Gay and lesbian groups protested the zoo's move to bring in female penguins to "straighten" the male penguins. And they won. The zoo decided not to introduce the females into the male environment and to let the male penguins enjoy their own company. So, score one for the gay and lesbian community.
We're here! We're queer! We're PENGUINS FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!

1 comment:

Dan McCormack said...

What do you expect? Even the girls wear tuxedoes. They're all a bunch of queers. :)

Seriously though, I don't really see how exposing them to female penguins was "forcing" them to be straight.

I can sort of understand the gay groups' fears though - everybody argues about whether homosexuality is an inborn trait or it is something learned; a decision. But I think there are examples of both. I think some people - or I guess now I need to say animals - are born gay, but it's also perfectly possible to become gay either by choice or upbringing. And it's not like we've never seen temporary homosexuality arise among male populations in captivity. So the activists were probably concerned that the introduction of hot, sexy Swedish chicks would cause the male penguins to stop forming bonds with each other, and this would be construed as "proof" by the world that homosexuality is a learned trait that can be undone, which would make their cause more difficult.

But if my assumptions are correct, I feel bad for those penguins. Imagine if you were a prison inmate and the government was talking about introducing swimsuit models into the prison to stop your heathen ways, and then some gay guys outside the fence yelled a bunch and they changed their minds? I'd be pissed. :)