Can't Even Begin to Imagine How Much This Must Have Hurt

From The DUH Department...

Baltimore newspaper reported today that there are fewer Pearl Harbor survivors alive today that at any time since the attack.
I guess if that number starts going up, THEN we have a problem.

Goreacle Wins Peace Prize. Wait, what?

So the Goreacle won the Peace prize. He is in good company with Carter and Arafat. In celebration, here are a few "inconvenient truths" that the British courts found in his "documentary":

The film claims that melting snows on Mount Kilimanjaro evidence global warming. The Government's expert was forced to concede that this is not correct.

The film suggests that evidence from ice cores proves that rising CO2 causes temperature increases over 650,000 years. The Court found that the film was misleading: over that period the rises in CO2 lagged behind the temperature rises by 800-2000 years.

The film uses emotive images of Hurricane Katrina and suggests that this has been caused by global warming. The Government's expert had to accept that it was "not possible" to attribute one-off events to global warming.

The film shows the drying up of Lake Chad and claims that this was caused by global warming. The Government's expert had to accept that this was not the case.

The film claims that a study showed that polar bears had drowned due to disappearing arctic ice. It turned out that Mr Gore had misread the study: in fact four polar bears drowned and this was because of a particularly violent storm.

The film threatens that global warming could stop the Gulf Stream throwing Europe into an ice age: the Claimant's evidence was that this was a scientific impossibility.

The film blames global warming for species losses including coral reef bleaching. The Government could not find any evidence to support this claim.

The film suggests that the Greenland ice covering could melt causing sea levels to rise dangerously. The evidence is that Greenland will not melt for millennia.

The film suggests that the Antarctic ice covering is melting, the evidence was that it is in fact increasing.

The film suggests that sea levels could rise by 7m causing the displacement of millions of people. In fact the evidence is that sea levels are expected to rise by about 40cm over the next hundred years and that there is no such threat of massive migration.

The film claims that rising sea levels has caused the evacuation of certain Pacific islands to New Zealand. The Government are unable to substantiate this and the Court observed that this appears to be a false claim.

Oh, Say, Can You... Line!

Michael Bolton attempts the US National Anthem. Key word: Attempts.

Couldn't Believe My Eyes

Google has this thing where when you search for an item, certain ads appear on the right side of the page. These ads are collected from a Google database to try to match to your search, in turn giving you relevant ads.
Of course, there matches aren't actively moderated, so some funny things may slip through. For example, Google the word "Braille" and look at the second sponsored link on the right.
It looks like Google has done something to change this, attached below in a screenshot of the search. Click on it for a larger picture and take a look at that second sponsored link.

What a Beautiful Morning

So I finally get to be early last night (thanks, CVS Sleeping Pills!) and I wake up refreshed and ready to face another day. So how do I celebrate? Well, by getting a speeding ticket! Hurrah!
So now I have to decide what to do: Pay the ticket and get a point on my licence, or stand in front of a judge to beg for his mercy. I do not have any points on my licence, so one will really not do me any harm. I do have to take into account that my insurance may go up. As for standing in front of a judge, I have been watching a lot of Boston Legal lately. I have no problem paying the ticket, but I do not want that point on my licence. The problem in asking the judge for leniency is that it could backfire, as seen below.

I'll keep you informed on my status.

Worst Weatherman in History

At Least One of These Guys Came To Fight.

The other one? Well...

One Hundred and Ten Reasons to have a Spare Key

So this beautiful, clear afternoon, I decided to wash my car. The sun was shining and the temperature was in the mid-60's. Perfect weather. So I pull into the car wash area of my apartment complex and begin to wash the car. After the car is soaped up and washed down, I tried to open my truck to get a drying cloth. Ok, trunk is locked. No problem, I'll just open the driver's door and pop the trunk. Doors are locked. Shit. I look into the window and there, laying in the passenger chair, are my keys, wallet, and cellular phone. I then remember I have a spare key, which is put away safely in my car. Dammit.
By now the sun is setting and the temperature is falling. Now, all I'm wearing are shorts and a tshirt with sandals, all wet. I go to my neighbor's apartment to call maintenance so I can get my apartment door open. 15-20 minutes later here comes the lady with the key. She then informs me that she does not know if maintenance can open the car door. Useless. So I get into my WARM apartment and use skype to call a locksmith. He tells me to wait by the car and he'll be there in 5-10 minutes. 20 minutes later, the temperature has dropped into the low 50's and I'm freezing my arse off standing next to my car. He finally arrives and the ordeal ends.
For opening my apartment door afterhours: $25.00
For opening my locked car: $85.00
For being an idiot: Priceless.

Things I do to Feel Alive...

Here's a video of my sister-in-law, my niece and I riding the Xtreme Skyflyer at King's Dominion on Sunday, October 8th. I believe my testicles finally dropped this morning.